Real Estate Advertising Humor

Katie Lance — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:34 +0000

Guest blogger Tina Merritt is a Realtor® and Real Estate Trainer in Virginia and recipient of NAR’s Realtor Technology Spotlight Award.

Image courtesy of www.reallyrottenrealty.com

We’ve all been in this situation: you just listed a property and are desperately searching for something…anything…positive to say about the property in an ad designed to entice a buyer. Thanks to the Department of Mathematics at Washington State University and the ConstructionDeal.com Blog for their definitions of real estate terminology.

• Old charmer – an old and ugly house

• Stunning house – the house is not ugly

• Tudor – two bedrooms are in the attic which is not insulated; very hot in summer and very cold in winter

• Cape Cod – styled after Third World slum dwellings

• Sunny corner lot – noisy intersection of two busy streets

• Easy freeway access – noisy arterial street close to freeway

• Low maintenance lot – no yard; the kids will have to play in the street

• Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old

• Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in

• Newly remodeled kitchen – 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents

• Ready to move in – the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint

• Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation

• 1-car garage – you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door

• In-city living – it is not safe to walk in this neighborhood after dark

• Recreation room with wet bar – basement has been painted and has a faucet

• Large family room – large basement

• Bedroom in basement – basement has a 1′ by 2′ window

• Lots of storage space – basement too small to be called a family room

• Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb the roof

• Territorial view – good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window

• Build sweat equity – the house is not inhabitable

• Storybook – the house is old and the roof is not flat

• Efficiently designed kitchen – the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time

I have a few of my own to share:

• Great water pressure – the house is next to a water tower

• Quiet neighbors – the home backs to a cemetery

• Cozy bathroom – you can shower while sitting on the toilet

• Won’t last! - this property will never sell as the agent just jinxed it

• Unique – it’s weird, just weird.

• Park-like setting – you will spend all weekend, every weekend, doing yard maintenance

Feel free to comment and add your “definitions”. Have a great weekend and thanks for reading my posts this week!

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Joel Burslem — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:00:08 +0000

From the minds over at MySpaceTV, real estate marketing strategies straight from The Chad.

Oh, and there’s more too if you can stomach it. Part 2 and Part 3.

On a more serious note – why is this stuff (mildly) amusing? I think it’s in large part because a lot of it hits too close to home.

I’m banging an old drum here, but over the last few years the industry has done a terrible job of communicating its value to consumers. Something 1000Watt Blog alludes to when they write:

Numerous articles, studies and voices are exposing the fissures in the solid ground of trust real estate once stood upon

That fissure of trust is what results in the perception and portrayal of agents as insensitive, loud-mouth buffoons.

A multi-million dollar ad campaign ain’t gonna help change that either, people. It’s up to the folks on the ground to put their best foot forward.

Today that’s easier than ever to do. A web 2.0 world lets anyone with laptop and an internet connection seize control of the message. So just do it. Events like the BloodhoundBlog Unchained Conference and others can you get the tools and knowledge you need to combat this misconception and help right many years of wrongs. So just do it.

It’s not too late to turn this thing around – but it’s going to take commitment, honesty, professionalism, oh — and maybe a sense of humor.

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Future of Real Estate Marketing » humor

Real Estate Advertising Humor

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